


Today is New Years Day

by LillyGrant (orphan_account)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, I feel better now, Poetry, therapy writting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 20:30:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7402810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/LillyGrant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My way of coping with my sister's journey as a recovering anorexic</p>
            </blockquote>





	Today is New Years Day

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've posted anything and its very personal but I really wanted to share it. My sister was admitted to the E.R because of her anorexia exactly one year ago and this year has been really hard on my family. I wrote this today to deal with the anniversary if it. Please be kind when reading this.

This is the year I learned how to to hide  
how to cry  
how to die.  
I learned what anger does to the soul  
what tears do to hope  
what a strong girl I am.

I learned how pretty I truly am  
how one dress can make me feel special  
how lip gloss feels on a smile  
How, even without makeup or a dress,  
I am beautiful.

This was the year I learned how to be alone  
how not to reply on people  
how to fake a smile.

I learned that family is just a word  
that I don't need it to survive  
that it doesn't mean what I thought.

I learned how amazing school truly is  
how pretending life is good, makes life good  
how much I needed 6 hours of pretend.

This year I learned who I am  
I am not a woman but not a girl anymore  
I am one year older than the scared girl hiding underneath the covers  
I am one year wiser than the naive girl who would 'forget' what she saw  
I am a daughter to 2, a sister to one and a friend to many  
I am a little bit dead but very much alive  
I am a student to 6 and a number to the government.

I am smarter than I seem  
tougher than I look  
and get prettier the longer you look at me.

I learned all of this this year  
I cried more  
smiled less  
met new friends  
I got a new dream to catch, not just chase  
Lost a sister  
Gained a best friend.  
Next year won't be like this year.

It will be full of laughter  
not regrets  
Next year will be 2017


End file.
